Some work environments bear many of the characteristics of a dysfunctional family with the boss playing the role of the emotionally abusive parent or spouse and the employees each finding their own way to adapt. The success of the television sitcom, “The Office,” suggests that a huge portion of the population can relate to this unfortunate scenario.
For some professionals, this “dance” will continue on for years until either the company downsizes, the employee gets fired, or buckles under the stress and ends up quitting. During the time leading up to the final departure, many of the interactions one has and the feedback one receives begins to influence his or her self-perception, which in turn influences his/her ability to effectively look for work and make the best career decisions.
I frequently receive calls from potential clients who have “left the dance” (by choice or circumstances) and believe that their immediate need is a new résumé so they can quickly move on to their next employer. Unfortunately, for some, the quality of the résumé is not the primary thing standing between them and their next job… it’s their belief system.
Often when working toward an employment goal, what one desires can actually conflict with one believes is possible. Be it a “self-fulfilling prophecy” or the “law of attraction,” the reality is that if one sees himself as “damaged” in some way or undeserving of job satisfaction, he will subconsciously seek out scenarios that will confirm his beliefs.
In writing this blog and making analogies to my 42 blind dates, I never want to imply that the “dating scene” was flawed or each of my dates was “too picky”. These things may have been true at times, but due to my past failures and fear of failing again, I had to change my beliefs about how I saw myself and what I thought to be possible – or I would continue to fail.
If your career has traveled a bumpy road, characterized by multiple unfulfilling jobs, layoffs, and/or anxiety about facing another Monday morning, it may be a good idea to look inward and figure out what keeps blocking your success. Sure the job market is tight right now and employers are picky, but are these the real reasons you are caught in a constant state of underemployment or unemployment?
Visualize success, keep your eye on the goal and believe that you can achieve it. There are plenty of jobs out there waiting to be filled; self-confidence sells and employers are buying. If you’re not there yet and you see the roadblocks but can’t get past them, considering hiring a coach to help you retrain your mind so you can achieve your goals. It worked for me – both personally and professionally. When all else fails, do something you may have never done before… change your mind!